I Will Be Accepted
by Lady Shadowness
Summary: In a homophobic world, a male Aes Sedai and his Warder struggle to be accepted. They share both the bond between Aes Sedai and Warder, and another so intimate that only lovers could share it. This is about Artez Sedai, and his Warder and lover, Tyemon.


_**I Will Be Accepted**_

Prologue – Artez and Tyemon

**Written by ****Lady Shadowness**

_**RATED T (um, it should probably be a LOW M, but I chose T because there ****is**__** no LOW M, and it's not quite M. M/M SLASH, a bit of HIGH VIOLENCE, and some TORTURE throughtout the chapters. Possibly a CONTROVERSIAL THEME throughout.)**_

Author's Note **(THIS IS KIND OF IMPORTANT – PLEASE READ)**: Um, I'm not quite sure when this is set. I suppose it's either before _saidin_ was tainted, or a long time after it was cleansed.

Anyway, male Aes Sedai go to the White Tower as much as the female Aes Sedai, and I've made up what the male Aes Sedai wear and stuff, so please don't criticise me on how I describe my male Aes Sedai/Accepted/novices.

Also, I would like to point out again that this has **male/male SLASH**, very _slightly_ explicit, so if you don't like that sort of thing, you can just go back a page and read something else.

I'm making more chapters – a real story, with a real plot – and I'd like it if I can get at least two or three reviews per chapter, so I know people are actually reading this. Thanks for reading, sorry if that was a bit long!

Oh, and if you have to critise my work, please do so CONSTRUCTIVELY. I don't just want "This is bad" or "This is wrong". I'd like to know the reason, and maybe how I could fix it.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Wheel of Time, Robert Jordan does. If I did, I would probably be excruciatingly burned alive by his lingering blaze of glory. May he rest in peace.

Artez paced back and forth, frowning, and plucked at his grass-green coat. He smiled faintly, fingering the smooth Great Serpent ring on his right index finger. Earlier that day, he had been raised from Accepted to Aes Sedai. Artez had chosen the Green Ajah. He had been considering the Brown or Blue, maybe even White, but had eventually decided on Green. Only Greens took more than one Warder, and he was planning on taking at least two, perhaps three. Artez was remarkably strong in the Power; physically, though, he was fairly weak. He was a little over a metre tall, by maybe ten centimetres. Many of his Brother and Sister Aes Sedai thought this the reason for his choosing the Green Ajah – so he could take more than one Warder for protection. It was part of the reason. He wondered, vaguely, whether they would start training female Warders. That would be a sight to see.

Artez caught sight of himself in his dresser mirror, and winced, the smile slipping from his lips. His glossy, sable hair had gone awry, without him even noticing. Sighing, he wandered over to his dresser. The Aes Sedai absently picked up the wooden brush, and began running it through his long, straight hair.

He sat there a few minutes, wondering how long he had to wait.

'Your hair's already beautiful, little Aes Sedai…'

Artez jumped at the sudden feel of fingers running through his hair; warm breath at his neck.

He smiled.

Without turning, Artez reached for _saidin_. He wove a flow of Air, and pulled the door shut quietly, and released _saidin_ – but not without reluctance. So many restrictions, when he had been a novice; practicing in the small hours of the morning, so as not to be found out. Then, he had been in the white coat of a male Accepted, with the bands of the colours of the Ajahs at the hem. Even then, there had been rules. More than one time, as both novice and Accepted, he had been rubbing his hands raw, scrubbing pots in the kitchens.

Artez smiled wryly at the memories. Ah, well. As the saying went…no pain, no gain. But if he had had the choice of never washing dishes again, or washing a thousand and becoming Aes Sedai…

He would have washed dishes until someone mistook him for a prune, because of all the wrinkled skin that came of soaking the flesh in water.

Artez carefully set his brush on the table, and turned to face the man standing behind him.

'_Will I ever be able to sneak up on you, Artez?_ I remember always asking you that, and you always answered: _No!_'

Artez grinned, and walked forward. 'Ah, you may have triumphed this time, Gaidin. But, I am Aes Sedai, now!'

Artez proudly held out his finger, displaying the ring. 'You like it, Tyemon?'

Tyemon nodded. He reached out, and ran a reverential finger over the Great Serpent ring. He had seen this ring before, a thousand times, but it seemed…better, somehow, now that Artez was full Aes Sedai.

'What…what Ajah did you choose, Artez? Artez Sedai, I mean…'

Artez chuckled, striding over to his bed. He had asked Tyemon to be his first Warder in advance for when he became full Aes Sedai, and Tyemon had agreed to being bonded to the little now-Aes Sedai. That very day, he had bonded Tyemon, just before he had become full Aes Sedai.

'_We'll be the first Accepted and Warder bonded in history!' _

He remembered whispering those words, gleefully, to Tyemon, letting his excitement get the better of him.

'Green, Tyemon. I find it to be the most sociable Ajah.' He quirked one elegant eyebrow at Tyemon. 'Do you not agree? I would hardly have chosen Red, Tyemon. A horrible lot, they are. Can't imagine how their mothers ever liked them.'

Tyemon grinned, nodding.

Artez began kicking off his boots, as he sat on his bed. Then he began pulling off his green coat. Tyemon was watching, with a kind of hungry light in his blue-grey eyes, which were roaming over Artez's body shamelessly. Artez raised one thin, delicate eyebrow again. He saw that it had no effect whatsoever on the older man. He left the coat on; it was a little cold, anyway.

Artez pulled over the little, spindle-legged table next to the wall, and a mahogany box from under his bed. He flicked a little latch on one side, and it unfolded the stones board, the stones all hidden safely away in a little compartment.

He methodically set out the stones, before he saw Tyemon still standing there, looking slightly lost. Artez sighed. 'Light, man! Make yourself useful, then. Get us a drink.'

The Aes Sedai gestured vaguely to his right, at the dark, wooden cabinet. Tyemon went to it, taking out a bottle full of wine, and two glasses. Artez paused, and watched him pour them both some of the blood-red liquid. Tyemon didn't quite have that deadly grace he would obtain, later. Then again, Artez didn't have the Aes Sedai agelessness that came from successive use of channelling.

The large Warder pulled a chair up to the table, setting their glasses onto it. Artez nodded his thanks, and took a delicate sip.

'I'm not sure from where this comes from,' he murmured, gazing into the ruby depths. Tyemon took a great gulp, and frowned thoughtfully. 'Andoran, perhaps?'

'I was thinking, more…Tairen?'

Tyemon shrugged. 'I don't know, and I don't really care. Maybe you should have chosen Brown, not Green, with that curiosity of yours.' Then he grimaced. 'Eh, not the Brown, actually. You would be turned into a boring little mad professor, surrounded in piles of books and plants and small animals preserved in jars.'

Artez just blinked. 'Maybe. I doubt I could change, now. I do not think one is allowed to change their Ajah once one is already bound by the Oaths.'

Tyemon rubbed his forehead. 'Tez,' he moaned. 'Stop it. You're doing my head in.'

Artez chuckled; it amused him to no end that Tyemon seemed to have the mental capacity of a four-year-old. No; he was actually an intelligent man, but his skull seemed to thicken at times. Especially at a time like this. Artez knew perfectly well what the gleam in Tyemon's eyes was: undisguised lust and desire.

Artez made his first move, shifting a stone on the board. Tyemon shrugged, and moved one as well. He took little time in choosing a place to put his stones. This was their usual ritual: have a game of stones, maybe have a drink, and perhaps talk for a while, if one of them wasn't feeling particularly lusty. That 'one of them' usually happened to be Tyemon.

As the game progressed, he kept gazing longingly at Artez's bed.

'In a moment,' Artez mumbled, sipping at his wine. He was on his second, Tyemon his third, but Artez could already feel the alcohol begin to take affect. He'd never had a head for drink, not at all, and this wine was stronger than he had remembered it being. Frowning vaguely, he pushed a stone, in an apparently random direction.

'Sure you wanted to do that?' Tyemon taunted, grinning. Artez swatted at him, from across the table. He growled at the Warder. 'Insolent Gaidin!'

Tyemon cackled maniacally. 'Where's all the Aes Sedai serenity and calm gone now?' Artez growled at that, slamming a stone down, causing the whole table to shake.

The Aes Sedai wiped his forehead with a green coat sleeve. Was it getting hotter, or was it just him?  
' 'Course I'm sure!' Artez muttered, upending the contents of his glass into his mouth. A drunken Aes Sedai? If any of his Brothers or Sisters heard of it, he would never be able to face the shame. No, he wasn't really drunk, and wouldn't be for some time. He was just tipsy, maybe.

Tyemon's hand stealthily slipped under the table, and he began rubbing Artez's thigh. He felt Artez's whole body stiffen slightly at the sudden touch, and then relax.

'Tez…' It came out as a whine.

Artez sighed good-naturedly. 'Alright, you don't need to encourage me. We'll finish the game, at least.'

Tyemon nodded. He wouldn't rush or force Artez into anything he didn't want to do immediately, or at all. Once, earlier in their relationship, Tyemon had started with something Artez hadn't wanted to do with him. Artez had – politely, but firmly – asked him to stop, but lust had gotten the better of Tyemon before he could reign it in. He had done something to Artez that had hurt the then-Accepted, and still had nightmares about Artez's frantic cries of pain. The next day, guilt had overcome Tyemon. They'd eventually managed to mend their relationship, and Tyemon had sworn not to force Artez into anything he wasn't happy or comfortable with.

It was definitely getting hotter. Tyemon kept on rubbing Artez's thigh, and his breathing was growing slowly, but steadily, faster, and heavier.

Artez glanced up after a moment, a stone hovering in his long, elegant fingers. He gave Tyemon a long, flat, pointed stare. Tyemon just grinned mischievously, moving further up and down with each stroke.

'Come on,' he said softly, grinning. 'That…feels good, does it not?'

Artez finally sighed, closing his eyes for a moment, forgetting the stone in his fingers. He remembered what it felt like to have those strong, sure fingers on bare skin, not through his clothes. It made him feel…wanted, and that was a feeling he always enjoyed.

Then he shook himself back to real awareness, giving Tyemon a mock-reproachful look. Tyemon chuckled madly.

They kept each other talking. Artez mostly looked at the stones board, while Tyemon was gazing at Artez's lips as they moved, his eyes running along every curve and angle of the smaller man's body. His soft, graceful fingers, the way he bent over a little to reach out further toward Tyemon with a stone, as he gained ground quickly on the board. A slight wave of lustful dizziness swept through Tyemon, when Artez actually stood, bending right over the board. His coat what tight at the waist, chest and shoulders, and Artez was probably oblivious of how much it pleased Tyemon to see Artez wearing such tight-fitting clothes.

Fearing he was drooling at the sight – and not wanting to offend Artez – Tyemon's hand flew up to his mouth, and assured himself that he was _not_ drooling. But…he wanted…he wanted…

Blood and ashes! He wanted to jump across and make use of that bent-over position.

Tyemon felt his face suddenly flush at the thought, and not just because it sounded sinful. No, no, he wouldn't jump Artez when his attention was on something else. They needed trust and communication, or their relationship might break down, as it nearly had once.

Tyemon wasn't sure what he would do if Artez no longer wanted this to continue. They both understood each other to the marrow, knew each other in the most intimate way, physically, and now, mentally – or spiritually, whichever – from the bond that linked an Aes Sedai to his or her Gaidin, and vice versa.

Tyemon thought he was hiding all these thoughts, but through that bond, Artez could sense the general gist of his mood. Desire, and a ravenous lust, barely kept at bay. For the first time, he knew the full intensity of that lust…and it frightened him a little. Artez had long since learnt to detach his face from emotions and thoughts, keeping it calm and relaxed. When he felt heat rush through the bond, when he bent over the table to reach, he drew back swiftly, and felt mild disappointment seep through. It made him shiver slightly, realising just how much danger he might be in if the full extent of that lust got the better of Tyemon.

Tyemon was far, far stronger than Artez was, and, all too easily, he could hurt Artez, who was a lot…frailer, perhaps? Not, not exactly frailer, but…more _breakable_.

In seven turns of apparently random stone-placing, Artez crushed Tyemon in a blaze of glory, and grinned at Tyemon's expression. Tyemon grimaced.

'You always beat me,' he complained.

Artez quirked an eyebrow at him. 'I'm Aes Sedai. I'm supposed to be intelligent, and I am.'

Tyemon snorted. 'Your eyebrows seem to be the most frequently used part of your anatomy.'

That eyebrow ascended further, until Tyemon feared it might enter orbit around Artez's head.

'You had better bring it back down, or it might escape.'

Artez rolled his eyes, and got to his feet, stretching with his arms high above his head. Tyemon's eyes were instantly riveted to a strip of bare skin, when Artez's shirt lifted up from stretching. Tyemon very nearly leaped right across the table, at that point. He kept that growling _something_ inside him at bay, fortunately.

Tyemon helped him by packing away the glasses and the bottle of wine, while Artez shoved the table aside, after packing up the stones and board.

The moment he turned back around, Tyemon picked him up and set him on the chair – and kissed him, full on the lips. The little Aes Sedai sighed into it, once again marvelling at the softness of the Warder's lips. There was a short skirmish for dominance, which Tyemon easily won. He pushed at Artez's lips with his tongue, and the smaller man allowed the larger to enter.

They were physically a mismatched pair. Artez was small, slight, had long, raven-dark hair, and sapphire-blue eyes; while Tyemon was tall, very broad in the shoulders and chest, with short-cropped blonde hair, and a pair of chocolate-brown eyes. The reason for Artez having to stand on the chair was that difference in height.

When they drew apart for air, for a split second, Tyemon gasped something. 'Oh, where did you learn to kiss so, Artez Sedai?'

Artez never answered, because their lips came together again. Tyemon didn't see it, but the glow of _saidin_ suffused Artez for a moment, as he locked the door with Air, and weaved a ward around the room. Not the slightest sound could get in or out. Tyemon knew Artez would do that by habit, though.

Tyemon began running his fingers through Artez's recently brushed hair. It was so soft, like silk! Then, his other hand began moving of its own accord. It started tugging at Artez's grass-green coat, managed to pull it off, and let it fall to the floor.

Artez began fumbling at Tyemon's neck, not breaking the kiss, finding the clasp of the Warder's colour-shifting cloak. It fell heavily to the floor, a puddle of mottled greys and greens.

Tyemon tightened his arms around Artez's waist, pulling him close enough that their chests were pressed close, and each feeling the other's heart beating. Tyemon's was long and slow, while Artez's was lighter and quicker. Both their heartbeats were growing faster with each passing moment, though.

Tyemon's tongue explored the inside of Artez's mouth; it was warm, damp and soft. Oh, but his lips were so soft…the inside of his mouth tasted…simply divine…

When they went off on all their adventures – battling Shadowspawn, ferreting out every Darkfriend from Tar Valon – Artez would certainly be the leader, and Tyemon the one to follow. But now, Tyemon was the dominant force, simply because he was much larger, and much stronger than little Artez had ever been, and ever would be. It had always been that way, since that fateful day Artez had run, screaming, out of the arches that raised you to Accepted. The male Aes Sedai down there hadn't been able to stop him from running, completely naked, shrieking _No! No! Not the black chicken!_, right back into the White Tower and into a random room. By pure coincidence, that room had been Tyemon's room. Tyemon had been more than a little startled to see a naked Aes Sedai novice sprint into his room, and hug the nearest person, which had happened to be Tyemon. He probably would have hugged a Myrdraal, had there been one there. Their relationship grew, needless to say.

Artez sighed, closing his eyes. As ever, he gladly submitted when Tyemon pulled Artez's shirt up, over his head, then tugged of his own. Tyemon quickly pressed his lips to Artez's once more, gaining instant access to the inside of his mouth. He began sucking on his lower lip, and quickly drew back to tear off his own shirt, and Artez moaned softly when bare skin met bare skin. He felt Tyemon's lips travel over his cheek, down his neck, then come back up to his mouth.

Tyemon gave a growl of longing, and he took Artez by the waist – lips still locked blissfully – and began lowering him toward the bed. Artez didn't resist, he simply clung onto Tyemon's back, relishing the damp warmth of the Warder's lips and mouth and tongue. Tyemon prised his fingers off, and Artez growled. Tyemon chuckled softly, tugging back the covers of the bed. Suddenly, there was a quick, frenzied shedding of clothing, Tyemon hauling Artez's breeches down, when he was too slow.

For a moment, all they did was continue that kiss. Artez shivered with pleasure, feeling Tyemon's strong, callused fingers slide across his bare back, then begin stroking the soft, tender skin of his thigh.

Tyemon was a hot, strong presence next to him, wonderfully…physical. Beautifully powerful and untamed.

Tyemon, on the other hand, saw Artez as something small, fragile, and…also powerful, but in the way only an Aes Sedai could be. He seemed to radiate _saidin_, even if Tyemon couldn't channel to levitate a pebble. Each different power seemed to be drawn to the other. Tyemon's animal strength, and Artez's more obscure, mysterious abilities.

Tyemon listened to Artez begin to purr, curling up against his broad chest. Sighing, he ran his fingers through the younger man's silky, sable hair, the other hand sliding across soft, smooth skin. Artez closed his eyes once again, content to let Tyemon's strong, yet gentle, fingers roam over his body; that careful, loving caress.

Then, so very gently, he pushed Artez onto his stomach, and the little Aes Sedai let him. Tyemon was, physically, far stronger, stronger than Artez could ever hope to be; so that was the way it had always been, by some unspoken agreement. In that way, he was generally the more passive of the two, taking it as it came.

Gasping, Artez suddenly scrambled out of the bed, hearing Tyemon snarl furiously behind him. He threw open a draw in his dresser, snatching out a jar, and running back to dive into the covers of the bed once again. He held up the jar triumphantly, panting.

'Oh, good man, Artez!' Tyemon growled, grabbing it out of his hand. It was oil.

A few moments later, and Artez clutched at the sheet, his knuckles white, and vaguely felt it begin to tear in usually elegant fingers. The sheet was soft against his cheek, and Tyemon's breath hot, quick and laboured on his neck. Tyemon himself was a large, hot weight; undulating Warder muscle.

Tyemon wasn't overly rough, though. Artez seemed so slight and delicate that he might simply break apart if pushed too far. But, no matter how many tremors and shudders of ecstasy shook them both, no matter how many spasmodic jerks sent them gasping, the little Aes Sedai remained in one piece, instead of a dozen.

Artez was the more vocal of the two, gasping, moaning, and occasionally crying out; whereas Tyemon was quieter, grunting softly, his breath coming hard and heavy.

After a while, it reached its peak, and Artez had torn through the sheet with his fingers, but he was oblivious to the sound of the material ripping, or the way he was suddenly crying out, louder, higher, faster; or Tyemon's hoarse gasps. Heat seemed to press in from all sides, warmth radiating from flexing muscles, coming with breath quick and fervent.

Then they collapsed, side-by-side, gasping, and exhausted. Hearing his body moaning for sleep, Artez curled up on his side, and felt Tyemon put a possessive arm around him, drawing him close to the Warder's hot, heaving chest. He…he wanted to wake up every morning…in Tyemon's…arms…

The thought remained slow and fuzzy, as sleep claimed Artez.

In the morning, Artez woke up alone. Tyemon was gone, and both their clothes missing. The Warder would have – obviously – put his own back on, then crept back to his own room in the Tower. He would have put away Artez's for him. How he'd gotten past the weaving of Air Artez had locked the door with was beyond him, but…

Artez yawned, stretched, flipping over, onto his back. He drew the covers up to his chin, smiling absently at the memory of the previous night. Most men liked women, but Artez had rarely looked at a woman in that way.

Then he grimaced, feeling the torn sheet run against his back. How was he going to explain the state of the sheet to the Tower servants?

Hah! He was _Aes Sedai_, now. Not some naïve novice giddy over the accomplishment of lighting a lamp with Fire. He wouldn't have to explain anything, if he didn't want to. One flash of the Great Serpent ring, and they'd be as quiet as the Tower's deepest vaults.

Artez sighed, hugging his pillow. The truth was, under all that usual Aes Sedai calmness and serenity, he was afraid. He and Tyemon lived in a society that was terrified of love between two people of the same sex, and it was even outlawed in a few countries. No one would ever understand, if they found out. No one would ever accept such a relationship. And…it would be a scandal: an Aes Sedai and a Warder? The whole of the White Tower would be shamed. They…they might take the great Serpent ring from him…

Would they gentle him?

Artez shivered at the mere thought. As a novice, he had seen a stilled woman. For what, he never found out, but…

She had simply sat on a stool, gazing blankly at the wall. She sat there for days and nights on end, not eating, not drinking…until she just fell sideways, stone dead. That had shaken the fledgling Aes Sedai to the bones, as he had been there when she'd fallen over. All of the girl novices had screamed, and a few of the boys with softer hearts. Artez had been one of those boys, and sixteen years old at the time besides.

Artez closed his eyes, taking a deep, calming breath. No. He would die before they gentled him. Not even that, if they never found out.

Yes, he and Tyemon would ride out to meet the Shadowspawn, and blast them into bloody oblivion! No Trolloc or Fade would stand in their way, every Darkfriend run screaming…

And, more than that. He and his Gaidin would show them all. Show them _all_, that people like he and Tyemon should be accepted: people who found themselves attracted to the same gender, be they man or woman.

He shifted, and his knee brushed up against something, hard and cold. Wondering what it might be, Artez burrowed beneath the covers, and brought out the object. It was the jar of oil – and the lid was missing.

'Blood and bloody ashes!'

He tore off the covers, and saw that both covers and sheet were soaked with oil. Artez shook his head in disbelief.

'Light, Tyemon, that's not exactly discreet!' he muttered. The servants would definitely be suspicious that something was going on in the Tower, now.

Artez shook his head again, but for a different reason. 'And what are they going to do, Artez Sedai?' he said softly. Artez rubbed at the Great Serpent ring. Aes Sedai. He was Aes Sedai. The majority of the heroes and heroines in history had been Aes Sedai. Though, not all. Just look at Artur Hawkwing. A legend. Then, there were the Ogier, legend_s_.

Aes Sedai. He could channel, for Light's sake! He was a legend just by _being_ Aes Sedai. He could change the face of the known world. He could bring rulers to their knees. He could shake the foundations of every land, from the far side of the Aiel Waste to the Aryth Ocean.

'I will be accepted,' Artez whispered.

_**To Be Continued**_


End file.
